Book Review: Friendship

 

Friendship: The Evolution, Biology, and Extraordinary Power of Life’s Fundamental Bond

by Lydia Denworth

The book opens with Denworth’s visit to the island of Cayo Santiago off the east coast of Puerto Rico to observe the social lives of Cayo’s monkeys, a social group of animals that show distinctive characteristics of friendship. According to Denworth, animals and humans share connective characteristics.

I appreciated the various approaches Denworth took to cover the topic of friendship from a baby’s need for interaction in order to thrive to the development of the teenage brain. Then there’s the friendship of spouses and the need for the elderly to stay connected.

In a chapter on digital friendship, she tells the story of Tanja Hollander, who visited homes of 424 Facebook friends and documented her travels with thousands of photos. Denworth notes digital friendships expand our network but can interfere with personal interaction.

While the relationship between genes and social behavior needs further study, you’ll come away from reading this book with a better understanding of your own tendencies and the need others have to stay connected to you because good relationships pay off in increased health and happiness.

The book motivated me to consider my own connectedness to others and to guard against isolation, which has become a way of life during the shutdown. Published by W. W. Norton & Company in 2020, it’s a worthwhile read.